WizDom-40

Dear Guru CT,

I'm single. My friends say the reason is because I'm intimidating, difficult to read and don't always know when a guy likes me so I treat everyone the same. I say it's because men don't approach me. Friends say that's because the men don't get the "vibe" from me that gives them the green light to approach me. I'm at a loss. I like being taken seriously but would also like to seem approachable and open. I think I've missed out on a few good men because of this. Whatchu think?  

Dear Tin Man’s boo aka “Teeenie Teenie”,

Thanks so much for your post. Now, I’m no Wiz, but “let me lubricate your mind”, because unlike young Mike and the Crows I believe “you can win”.  You offer a couple reasons here why you or others think you are single; some of these factors are within your control (say, coming off as intimidating), while others require the actions of others. I will handle each in turn. First, just because you are single, does not mean you don’t have the heart for it. Perhaps you just need to be a bit more flexible. It is clear that your core is solid (I mean, it’s tin after all!), and this will ultimately attract someone who takes you seriously. However, without some flexibility you may continue to feel “stuck”, and I don’t want that for you. Perhaps you can try and show that next special someone that he is more than a buddy. Perhaps you may have to approach a gentleman on occasion, that's a green light that would shine brighter than the Emerald City!

Now this does not mean the work is all of you. Tin man was chilling, he was found. Notice it was by two people who were lacking (or thought they were), just like you may feel lost. BUT, again, he was willing to take the journey, try a new path, and in the end….he realized he had what it took all along.

So, take heart my friend, time to go find your Lion…well maybe he should “be a lion” and find you…

Sincerely,

CT